What If?

So; I am back once again. After failing in Uttar Pradesh Public Service Commission (UPPSC) Examination in 2014, I have been called for the interview in UPPSC Examination 2015. And not only in this exam, I have been also called for interview for some other exams in the UPPSC. So I think, it was an inspiring moment for me.

Now I am curiously waiting for my result to come. I don't know, what lies ahead for me in future. Either I would be selected or rejected. If I would be selected, it would be pretty cool situation for me. It would be a dream come true and I would be free from expectations of my father and relatives. At this time, they have so much expectations from me. I have to fulfill their wish. But what if I would be rejected? It will be a failure for me. I have to face these exams again. In any of these situations, I have made up my mind to prepare and face this exam again this year.

Sometimes, I feel, "What if I failed?" and "What if I could not fulfill my father's wish?" Then I remember these lines...

"Kaise keh du ki thak gaya hu main,

        Na jane kis-kis ka hausala hu main"       

In addition to this, I have lost my hobbies of novels and stories and I do not write diary now a days. These things seems to me boring. I don't know why? But it is as such..