an orphan puppy;;

It was really a small and an orphan puppy, which attracts my attention, when I was on my way. I like these creatures specially dogs. The following poem, I have written when I saw a small puppy, searching for feeding itself. The poem is divided in two parts, that is 'Observation' and 'Conclusion'. In the first part, I observe it and my heart filled with respect for these creatures, and in second part, conclusion is derived for their future......

{OBSERVATION}

It was the january's month,

and the chilly breeze was blowing.

I was going on my way,

and was lost in my thinking.

I saw a small puppy,

wandering on my way ahead.

It was searching something,

beside the roadside drainage.

I didn't say anything, and

and simply crossed it.

when it saw me, and

waved its tail.

I saw it's eye,

full of innocence, full of life.

I lost in it's beauty,

once, twice and even thrice.

It remained in my memory,

like any unfullfilled wish,

and I reached my home,

while thinking about it.

It was a small orphan puppy,

and nothing else.

struggling to feed itself,

through the night and day.

{CONCLUSION}

This is the jungle of concrete,

in which I am living,

where the humans are

neither human nor beast indeed.

Humans have occupied all,

including five elements.

nothing left for these creatures,

except their death.

Jitendra Gupta

The time..

I think I am completely obsessed with the night, because majority of my poems are based in night. I don't know, why it is so? In the day time, I remain busy and I don't get any time to think about any creativity. But when the night falls, and I enter in my room after completing most of my work, my mind automatically starts to think some new things. These things turn in to words and words, ultimately in to poems.

Today, while I was returning to my home after a long walk in the night, I observe the clock tower closely. It seems to me as there was some thing so mysterious about it, and I start to continuously think about it. 

  

In the middle of the night;

when the whole world sleep;

I gaze the clock tower, 

while standing on my feet.

The moments pass in seconds;

the seconds make a minute;

the minutes turned in to hours;

and I listen the bell of tower.

Each moments have it's story;

each story have it's ending;

the ending makes me surprise,

and I say, "Life is full of miracles."

The time passes at it's speed;

it is a real friend indeed;

it teaches us many lessons;

including "Don't make enemies." 

Jitendra Gupta

Winners stand alone..

It gives me pleasure when I wonder in the foggy night. I like the loneliness and dislikes the crowds. In addition to this, it gives me satisfaction too because there is no one on my way to oppose me, when I use to wonder in the night. Normally peoples use to hide in their blanket in such cold nights but I love such nights. I have written my experience in the form of a poem, hope you will like it.... 

There is the fog;

There is the mist;

I can see everywhere,

on the streets.

I am here;

watching the moon light;

while standing in the cold.

below the sky of night.

Sky's color looks white;

It seems so bright;

Although there is no source-

of light in the night.

There is the drops-

of water, called 'dew';

I'm feeling it, while breathing,

while blinking, on my eyebrows.

There is silence;

and no sound at all.

except one or two voices-

coming from very far.

I like the loneliness,

I like the desert zone,

I feel like the conqueror;

because winners stand alone.

Jitendra Gupta

Hunting for spirits;;;

When night falls, often I leave my home behind and start to wonder everywhere in the city. I passed some famous milestones of Jaunpur city, named Royal bridge, Royal Fort, and Atala Mosque etc. These old monuments were built in the time of Mughals, by the Tughalaq dynasty, and are still there, flaunting over it's glorious history. There was a time when the city of Jaunpur was called as 'Shiraj-e-Hind' but the time has changed now and it is now a small district.It has a glorious history and famous for it's culture even today. 
But I have no business with it's culture or history, I have a diffrent reason to visit these places at this time in city. I am fond of hunting the spirits, wondering uselessly in the city. And I become disapointed every day and have to return my home with empty handed late in night. Hunting for spirits seems very challenging job to me and I have developed a habit for this job because it gives me pleasure. I have written a few lines on my wondering in the city.

      

As the night falls, I wonder in the streets;

Nobody appears there, except only some beasts;

I see the closed shops, I see the night bulbs;

shining alone in the darkness, like a moon in desert.

I measure some more miles and reached at crossing;

It, too, is deserted, with no people visible on sight;
I hunt for spirits at this time in city;

and wish to be immortal, like the wondering spirits.

Many says, 'Spirits wonder in the night.'

and I try to search for them without having light;

But I don't find anyone of them here and there;

perhaps, they live somewhere else with pleasure.

There is the silence, everywhere on my way;

but I listen the sound of silence with fray;

I followed my shadow, and reached 'Royal bridge'; 

built a centuries ago, over the river 'Gomati'.

I stand over the bridge, and watched the flowing river;

I glance the moon reflection, on the clear water;

The illusion fasten me, over the edge of the bridge;

There is only me, with no one at least.

I leave the bridge behind and stroll ahead;

'The Royal Fort' appears, built a centuries back;

It is still there, flaunting over it's history;

and seems very bright, while ruining presently.

There was a time, when Mughals inhabited the fort;

Now, with no living creature inside it's mansion;

I was sure to find there some wondering souls;

but I find their offspring occupied the place as a whole.

I wonder some more distance and reach 'Atala Mosque';

The home of Allah, the place of only one God;

I see the muslim priest called Imam and their followers;

No spirit would like to occupy a divine place ever.

"Am I the only wondering spirit in the city?"

thinking over the question while measuring the city;

I return my home in broken and tired ways;

to take a nap, and hunt them again in upcoming days.
                                                                                                            Jitendra Gupta

Have you seen the wind;;

I was sitting on the roof of my home and enjoying the warmness of the sun rays. Sometimes in my loneliness, I start talking with the sun or with the birds or anything else except any person, so that I can beat my emptiness. And it gives me more pleasure than doing anything else. It seems ridiculous to many persons but it's true. Moreover I have developed a habit of talking with myself and for this reason I don't need anybody's company to spend my time. And today I was talking with the wind. 

"What are you doing here?" asked my elder brother who has also come on the roof for the same reason recently.

"I am talking with the wind." I answered with innocence.

He burst in to laughter and said "Have you gone mad?"

I started thinking over this question and got the answer, "Perhaps yes;; I have gone mad." and then resume my conversation with wind. 
I have written few lines over this situation-

"The sun is shining in the blue sky;

In the warm afternoon of winter season.

Somebody is ringing the bell and praying to God;

In the temple, in the middle of garden of trees and grass."

"The cool wind is blowing, while touching slowly my body;

It will go to very strange and faraway places;

of which nobody knows it, even today, like the birds,

like the ocean, without taking anybody's permission."

"No one has seen the wind except aware of its existence,

when the leaves of trees starts moving, while hanging over it's branches;

"It is the wind, which is blowing." everyone of us say,

But no one says "The wind is not there." while the leaves remain stay."

                                                                                    Jitendra Gupta

Are You there..?

I remember, in my childhood days; my grandmother used to tell me to go to temple and worship the God. There is a beautiful and magnificent temple of God Hanuman Ji in the backyard of our home. The temple was built by my late grandfather and it is still there even today reminding us of him. We used to go to temple and worship Him every evening after returning from our school. It was a good habit inculcated in our soul by our grandparents, but gradually I lost my faith in Him due to some circumstances and started to believe in atheism. Now I am a atheist but I have respect in my heart for those who are theist, because being a religious person makes you an honest and good person. I have written few lines over my this experience and hope you will like this-

  

I Knew; You were there; often I saw You shouting on others.

I called You many a times; irrespective of space and place.

'You were listening to me.' it was known to me very well.

But no response from your side made me surprise like a hell.

Little things happened in life, when You and me were together.

But time has changed and I negotiate your existence.

'Come here, in front of me'; to prove You are there.

Otherwise I'll exclaim 'You are nowhere;' 'You are nowhere.'

Many says 'It's all your creation' when I see the nature.

I glance the Sun, stare the moon and enjoy the rainy season.

The whole universe makes me feel like a small tiny creature.

And I still don't know 'What am I doing?' in your age old feature.

It's nice many worship You and down their head.

'Is it makes You feel pleasure, when You give us the pain?'

They says 'You are the one;' 'You are the only one.'

But I says, 'You are none;' and will not waste my time in vain.  

                                                                                                                              Jitendra Gupta

Life is a heap of questions;;

While living my life in a full strength; some questions, about the purpose of life and about our existence, remained question to me. I think about these questions everyday but I don't get any satisfactory answers. On my this dilemma; I have written a few lines-

When I go to walk in the morning;

I meet with various persons on the road by side;

some says, 'Hello; how are you?' to me;

while some remain stranger and don't mingle with me.

I walk, and walk, and walk continuously;

until I tired, and return to home finally;

to become fresh, and join my duty;

the whole day passed in the search of opportunity.

'Who am I?' I think throughout the day;

'What is the purpose of life?' I asked everyday;

'What should I do?' 'Where should I go?';

The questions pile up in to a heap day by day.

I don't get the answer, although;

from horizon, I get back my echoes;

like the world is asking me the same question;

which is still a question for me till today.

                                                                                           Jitendra Gupta

A whole day of my life;;

'In the afternoon'

At this time; it is twelve pm,

And the sun is shining over my head.

Soon; it will be four pm, 

And the sun will set in the west.

After this, it will be night;

And we will go to our bed.

The whole day would passed; 

You see; my life is like that.

'In the morning'

I will wake up in the morning;

With a new idea in my head.

I will analyze that same idea;

Throughout the working day.

Time will passed before my eyes; 

And I will do nothing.

"What happens to that idea?"

I will think again; when  go to my bed.

'Next day'

Next day; again I will think;

"I will do this." or "I should do that."

Thinking too much;

Makes me confused day by day.

'No opportunity', 'No hope';

There is; in my life.

I get nothing in my hand; 

Usually; at the end of every day.

'In my room'

The vehicles are moving;

Blindly; over the road.

Sound is coming in my room;

Where I am alone.

Thinking about the future;

While lying on my bed.

Trying to change the history;

While wasting my present.

Jitendra Gupta

Grief;;

It is my younger brother who is doing B.Tech from an engineering college situated in Lucknow. He is a smart guy, good looking and handsome. I recently came to know that he lost the case in which he had been detained from examination by college authority, which was pending in the Lucknow bench of high court. Due to which, his whole one year have been wasted. In addition to this he had to suffer from the mental torture for such a long time. I heard this news from one of my family member's mouth. Upon listening to him, I lost my wish to talk with him. What can I do except expressing grief in front of him.  
I remember those days when he had completed his senior secondary school and was confused for his future. Although he couldn't decide his future, yet he took a simple path of doing BBA. He thought that it would be simple and easy to complete BBA and it was glamorous too. His ultimate aim was to do MBA. But his plan was seemed bogus to me as well as his father (my uncle). So I advised him to do B.Tech. I told him, "The money you are going to invest in BBA would be a wastage, and it would be good for you to do B.Tech by which you can became an engineer." His father was also agree with me. I think he was pressurized indirectly by me as well as by his father, to do B.Tech instead of BBA.
So he made up his mind and took admission in B.Tech. When his first semester result was declared, he was passed in only two subjects out of six subjects and having back in all four subjects.
But after the declaration of his first semester result, he worked hard and performed well in his second semester examination. His result was good. He had passed all the subjects except one back paper. One of my junior whose name was 'Ambika' had once told me about him that "He has sharp mind and good analytical skill and in addition to this he is laborious too."  
He was doing his part of struggle but the situation and circumstances was against him. A strike was organised in his college regarding some local issues and his name was came in to limelight in that strike. In addition to this, he fell ill due to Dengue fever at that time so he had to left the college for approximately one month. As a result, he was detained from the examination along with some other students.
Since then the case was pending in high court, and he was desperately waiting for its result. Mean while I had meet him several times and consoled him that the victory would be his. I have not so much experience but I have heard from some of my colleagues that in such cases, the court favours the student side. But I was wrong. He has lost the case.
I had not called him; he was as quiet as before. I can only anticipate his mental condition. His concentration was disturbed from studies to other things like court case and now he would feel difficulty in concentrating again in his studies.
May God bless him and give him the power so that he could bear such a heavy grief on his shoulders.
I would like to say him only one sentence, "Don't worry brother; the future would be yours";;;  

Courage;;

Now a days, I am singing a Gazal sung by Jagjit Singh,

"Ghar Se Nikle The Hausila Kar Ke,

Laut Aaye Khuda-Khuda Kar Ke."

The same situation is happening with me in my real life. I am trying to do big things but I am getting failed in doing simple and small things. "What is wrong with me? I couldn't analyse it". Up to date I thought, it is the dilemma in my life path, but I was wrong. It is the lack of self confidence and inability to concentrate on my predefined goal that renders me in the state of dilemma.
Often I ask myself "Am I a single guy in this whole cosmos who lacks the decisive power." And I got the answer, "Of course not." There are a number of persons who have became successful only because they lacks the decisive skills, but one thing was unique to them, instead of frustrating with this abnormality, they used it as a tool for being successful in life.
I have done M.Pharm, and from where I think, it is not any big deal to do M.Pharm. For me it is same like as doing simply M.Sc or M.A.. But my relatives and my well wishers don't think like me. They think as like I have done M.D. or M.S. and for them it is a big deal. And from their's point of view, I am a brilliant and I should do something big and excellent. In other words, they expect something excellent from me.
I remember one of my aunt who were laughing at me when she came to know that I am doing the same thing which she had done already and now waiting for her joining (Primary school Teacher). I am not frustrated or depressed by her behaviour but rather I ask myself the same question which she was asking me at that time, "What is the use of doing M.Pharm, when you have to do the same thing which I have done without doing M.Pharm? In that case, you have wasted your precious time and nonrefundable money and got nothing. Now you are on the same position where I am."
Then I thought, "M.Pharm have became curse for me. I could not do the simple things except waiting for the big things." This is the actual meaning of the aforesaid Gazal.
I think there is only one solution to this problem, "don't care for them." You should have courage to realize your dream; and for having courage, hard work is essential; and for doing hard work, an attitude is required "No work is big or small."
  

Dreams;;;

I was listening this Gazal, in the evening time which is one of my favorite Gazals, sung by Jagjit Singh. 

"Hazaro Khwahishe aisi; Ki Har Kwahish Pe Dum Nikle

Bahut Nikle Mere Armaan; Lekin Phir Bhi Kam Nikle"

The song is all about our infinite wishes and dreams which we dreamed of getting. Some succeeds in fulfilling his wishes where as some fails. 

I think, this world is a place of wishes either it is saturated or remain unsaturated. The person who resides in expensive bungalow and lives a rich life style, not only having dreams but those also who lives on the footpath and pavements. The difference exists only in the probability of its fulfillment. Where the Rich have enormous possibility and chances for their wishes to be fulfilled, the poor have only a few.  

I am no different to them and have my share of dreams. The dream of getting admission in BHU. I feels the attraction power toward it. I want to do Ph.D. from BHU and there is an opportunity of which I am waiting desperately since last 4-5 months. There was a colleague who despite being selected for Ph.D. in BHU, gives up the opportunity and now doing some kind of research work in Delhi. Many times, I asked myself "if I were at his place, what would I have done?"

Perhaps I have grabbed this golden opportunity or did the same, which he had done and gave up the chance. But the reality is different. I am who I am, not him. I don't have the same opportunity and chances.

Meanwhile I have got selected for a job of project assistant in NBRI, Lucknow. So; There is an opportunity of government job in which I have the opportunity of doing some research. There is another opportunity waiting for me in NBRI from where I can fulfill my dreams. I want to do everything but I am a single guy and I am very confused what should I do?

Let us see what is hidden for me, in the lap of future....... 

Tanhaai...

Neelanchal, door chitiz,

Sheetal hawa aur prakriti,

Miilon faili hariyali,

Aur usme uski anukriti.

Kalarav koojit pakshi,

Shaant athah samunder,

Jheel si gehari aankhe,

Jisme dooba mera man.

Nisha; tumhaare kesh,

Yeh roop-rang, yeh bhesh,

Kuch to hai inme vishesh,

Main khoya; nahi kahi kuch shesh.

Chitiz pe chaayi lalima aur,

Tumhaare haantho ki mehandi,

Bas ek tumhaari muskaan,

Meri pure din ki thakaan.

Jaa raaha hai pakshi samooh,

Aur kho raha ujiyaara,

Kho raha hai yeh tej,

Aur cha raha andhiyaara.

Jaate huye se pal,

Kitne sundar lagte hai.

Khoye-khoye se hum,

Kitne pyaare lagte hai.

Thak gaya saa hu,

Khud me hi kho gaya saa hu,

Duniyaa ki iss bheed me,

Tanhaa saa ho gayaa hu.

Bematlab hai yeh premdivas,

Bekaar si hai yeh duniya,

Bojhil si thaki huyi sandhya,

Bojhil hi meri duniya.

                                                          © Jitendra Gupta

Tum kahaa ho...?

Sach me tum ho,

Yaa mujhme kahi gum ho,

Kahne ko har jagah ho,

Par jaane; tum kaha ho?

Door chitiz par tum ho,

Band palako me bhi ho,

Man ki gaharaayi me tum ho,

Nabh ki unchaai me bhi ho.

Kuch kahu?

Jo suno;

Naa kahu?

Kuch suno;

Dinkar ki kirne hai,

Man ki tarange,

Kuch tum kaho;

Chaaye man me umange.

Chaaya aakash;

Yaa neela samundar;

Neela aakash;

Yaa gehra samundar;

Bhramit hu?

Vyathit hu?

Main kya hu?

Vichitra;

Karna kya hai?

Naa koi nashaa hai,

Hai bhi agar to,

Wo jaane kahaa hai?

Man me bashaa tha,

Man me bashaa hai,

Man kaa wo vaasi;

Ab jaane kahaa hai?

                                      © Jitendra Gupta

Khwahishe...

Khwahishe, ek ke baad ek,

Naa jaane kyu? Naa jaane kaisi?

Naa jaane kitni? Jeevan bhar ki.

Khwahish- arunabh chitiz ki,

Sudha, Suman, Santwana, Shikhar ki,

 Srijan, saumya, saundarya, sugam ki.

Khwahish- "Satyam-Shivam-Sundaram" ki,

Par upeksha, arpan, maan- apmaan,

Jaane kitni baaten....aur atmasamman;

Naa jaane kyu avyakta kaa samrajya?

Drisya-Adrisya, Shravya-Apshravya,

Jo hai aur jo nahi hai......uska aastitva.

                                                                          © Jitendra Gupta

Abhilasha...

Naa jaane kyu tumse milne ko dil karta hai,

Tumhe paane, tumhe choone ko dil karta hai,

Main nahi jaanta ye kya hai, bas

Tumhaari saanso ko mehsoos karne ko dil karta hai. 

Teri dil ki dhadkan mujhe yaha sunaai deti hai,

Tere badan ki mehak me main abhi bhi behosh hu,

Tere hontho par aaye har ek shabd,

Mujhse yahi kehte hai- "Main tumse pyaar karti hu;;"

Main sochta hu...

Teri aankho me kho jaane ko dil karta hai,

Teri saanso me simat jaane ko dil karta hai,

Main, main naa rahu, tu, tu naa rahe,

Tere itne karib aane ko dil karta hai.

Har taraf thi khusiyaan, par mujhme thi tenhaai,

Sab logo ke beech mujhe muskaan teri yaad aayi,

Tu paas bhi thi, tu door bhi hai,

Par meri har saans me tu thi chaayi,

Mujhe yaad tumhaari aayi. 

                                                  © Jitendra Gupta

Khamoshi...

Khamoshi se baatein kar raha tha,

Ki wo aa gayi,

Mujhe aisa laga.

Baatein ruk si gayi,

Aur waqt tham sa gaya,

Pagal man jo bechain sa tha,

Bas usi me simat sa gaya.

Haa; shayad,

Kuch pal ke liye shayad,

Baarish ruk si gayi thi.

Saanse tej ho gayi thi

Aur dhadkane begaani ho chali thi,

Badan to pura shithil ho gaya tha,

aur andar ek tufaan uth chala tha.

Ujaale ne andhere se dosti kar li thi,

Aur wo-main bas hum dono the,

Meri najare usme ulajhti gayi,

Aur wo mujhme lipatati gayi.

Jaise kabhi hum alag the hi nahi,

Itne paas, Itne karib,

Jaise main usme behta gaya door talak,

Aur wo mujhme silti gayi.

Jaise wo poonam ki raat thi,

Aur main vyom vistaar,

Jaise wo rajani kaa pyaar thi,

Aur main uska shringaar.

Mujhe laga-

Yeh anubhav kuch ajeeb tha,

Par tabhi yeh mahsoos hua,

ki main sapne me choor tha.

phir bhi.....

vaise....

Kuch baatein yun hi nahi ho jaati.......

                                                           © Jitendra Gupta

Udaasi...

Udaaasi;;;;

O; meri priyatama,

Main jee raha hu to bas,

tere sahare,

Tere hi aanchal me,

Tere kinaare.

Koi naa mila to,

Mili mujhko tu,

Prem se bhari, 

Aur shaant kitni tu.

Duniya jo ruth jaaye,

Har koi chooth jaaye,

Manmeet jo mere hai,

Wo bhi naa paas aayen.

Aur janm ke jo ristey,

Wo bhi jo tut jaaye,

Ho paas koi duvidha,

Aur jeevan lage nirupay.

Tab praan-priye meri,

 Tu mujhko yaad aaye.

Udaasi;;;

O; meri priyatama....

                                 © Jitendra Gupta

Kasak...

"Kuch kasak thi sayad,

Man me dabi huyi,

Siskiyaan to aayi,

Par kisi ne naa suni,

Kuch der talak sayad,

Main dekhta raha usko,

Phir main bhul gaya usko,

Wo bhul gayi mujhko."

                                               © Jitendra Gupta

Justju...

"Jindagi ke kuch pal,

Jane kaha kho gaye,

Aankhe khuli huyi thi, 

Aur hum so gaye."

"Humko nahi kisi se,

Kuch bhi gila sikwa,

Hum to sada aise the,

Aise hi rah gaye."

"Naa socha kya hai karna, 

Kya samjhna bade hokar,

Abhi to hum nadan the,

Kab dildar ban gaye."

"Bin maange hi mujhko, 

De diya yun pyaar itna saara,

Naa pucha kyu wo itna,

Meharbaan ho gaye."

"Dus din ki jindagi thi,

Do din yun ji liya,

Ki baaki bache huye din,

Bekaar ho gaye."

"Jo jiti humne baazi,

To pyaar tha sanam,

Jo haar gaye tujhko, 

Badnaam ho gaye."

"Wo waqt ki thi baazi,

Yaa pyaar ka ik nagma?

Jiye, Jisko gakar,

Hum aabad ho gaye."

                                                                       © Jitendra Gupta