B for 'Beauty', C for 'Caste'...

I was chatting with one of my fast friend of graduation days and discussing about my marriage. My friend is currently working as assistant professor in a private College. Several persons approached us for their girls for fixing marriage with me. I was discussing with him that I was finding it difficult to search a suitable girl so that I could marry her. I told him that I have not purchased even a single cloth for myself throughout my life because I don't know how to opt a cloth? I don't know what to look in any object so that I develop a liking for that. Likewise, when my family member asked me to choose any girl from the various photographs scattered against me, I become confused. There are so many girls, of every pattern, from various educational background. I became confused because I have never looked at girls from that point of view.

My friend asked me, "What type of girl, you are searching for, dear?"
"A simple, beautiful, educated and well mannered girl" I replied.
"Such girls are very difficult to find, nowadays, yaar!", he was saying, "In addition to this, you belong to such a backward cast of Teli community, where I have not seen a single beautiful girls till today."
I was rather feel offended not because he was calling me from my cast name, but he was stereotyping my cast community. Same time, I realized that he belongs to upper caste Hindu community. I told him that caste has nothing to do with the beauty, (Actually this thought is told me by one of my friend), it is a god gift, but he was indifferent to my logic. Rather he said, "Beautiful girls are not born in Teli community, all I have seen, are only the ugly faces." He, then send me the picture of his wife and sister in law to prove his statement. His wife and sister in law was actually beautiful.

In my graduation days, he used to call me from my community name, for example, 'Teli Bhai'! or 'Telia' etc. I never minded his words. But for the first time, I feel like he was abusing me and my community. In fact he was abusing my DNA, I realised.
I stopped discussing with him on this matter. His statement was ringing in my ear even today. Is it really true? Does beauty has any connection with caste? May be yes....or may be not. Who knows???
But one thing was clear from that conversation. Caste system is a truth in India despite all the immorality in it. Just imagine, a highly educated person like him, who is working as an assistant professor in a College, still believes in thousand year old caste system. Either the Genes of this caste system has entered in his DNA, and that is why he believes in caste, or that Genes has entered in my DNA, and that is why my community have become ugly.

I looked myself in mirror and asked, "Am I really looking ugly"?
I asked one of my friends too, whether I am really looking ugly?
"No!!" replied my consciousness, "Not at all!!" replied my friend.
I even compared myself with him (in fact a lower caste hindu was comparing himself with upper caste hindu). I was rather superior to him in academic records as well as professional post. I concluded, "At Least caste has nothing to do with intelligence."
I was upset for some days because of his comments and was searching for inspiration to soothe my soul. I found some poems, written by Mr. Harivansh Rai Bacchan, very much motivating in this situation of mine.

And there is a shayari too, which I would like to share here. I don't know, who has written these lines, but it is pretty much relevant on my friend and this thoughts......

"आदतें उसकी थी बस मुझे जलाने वाली 

बात की हंस के मगर दिल को दुखाने वाली 

आजकल वो मुझे कुछ बदला हुआ लगता है 

हो गयीं उसकी निगाहें भी ज़माने वाली 

हमने इख्लास का दामन नही छोड़ा अब तक 

हाय उसकी तो मोहब्बत है रुलाने वाली 

मैने समझा था गुज़र जाएगा मौसम लेकिन

रुत-ए-बरसात भी निकली तो सताने वाली 

तुम्हारे वास्ते अब कोई नही है वसी

खुद से बातें ना करो दिल को बहलाने वाली"

Jitendra Gupta